Then several things happened in a very short time that forced me to think about myself, which led to a firm decision to change my life. I'm not going into details, but suffice it to say that the main thing is actually one person, a girl (we broke up). Basically, I have firmly decided to change my habits and everything that's wrong with myself. My lifestyle from the last couple of years is now not good enough for me and I'm doing something to change it for the better.
First thing that will go way down on my list of priorities is poker. I'm totally indifferent about it, only reason I still play is because it's important source of income for me. In the beginning it was a challenge, to beat other players and prove myself I'm good in a game I never knew anything about but the last few years I have no fun playing poker. I'd much rather go out and play tennis, ride a bike, watch stars with someone than to sit in front of my computer and stare at the screen.
Another thing is handball. It was very important to me, I love it, I love to train every day but the current situation makes it far less enjoyable than it was 3 months ago, or ever before. I wouldn't mind if we stopped competing which I never thought I could say.
Basically, I'm at a turning point. Probably for the first time in my life, I know what I want and what I'm willing to sacrifice to get it.